just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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