U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
