do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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