i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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