she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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