can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
