I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
