HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
