so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
