so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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