Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am mentally ready for anal.
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