hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
