He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize