And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
