I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
