I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
