Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
