Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize