Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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