i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
