no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
