sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
