I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize