At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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