i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
