i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
