We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
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someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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