According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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