Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
