so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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