She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
