sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
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That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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