I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
