btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
