then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize