I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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