"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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