she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
