Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
