I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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