I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
