I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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