I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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