Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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