I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
