Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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