If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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