I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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