Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
