why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize