I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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