how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
