i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
