Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
