Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
