Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
