nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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