he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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