I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Couch. On fire.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize