"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Let's get the cat blown out
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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