dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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