problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
