no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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