wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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