I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
