Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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