i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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