THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
