I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
