once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
